Stood Up

it is not often that i am stood up, actually i can't even think of one time.  i have never been stood up by a date, i was not stood up at my wedding (yay!), never stood up by girlfriends for coffee.... but today i was stood up big time!  i was supposed to teach a Pilobolus class for The School of New Technology in Harlem, and not a single student showed up.  It is possible that none of the kids signed up for the program, it is also possible that they forgot.  the worst part was that the principal would not talk to us.  he was locked in his office on the phone and would not come out to give us any type of explanation.  it was really crazy. really speaks highly of the NY Public School System.

and now i am worried about my job for Dec.  I had 15 days of teaching lined up, and if this program falls through... does that mean that my paycheck does also?  or will my contract protect me? who knows!
but today was crazy, and i was looking forward to teaching those rugrats!

Surprise

You know you are loved when someone goes out of their way to make you feel really special.  My husband did that for me last weekend.  I had shows in Boston and he surprised me by showing up at the Mexican Restaurant I was eating at after the show.  He walked in with flowers! I yelled, "what are you doing here?!?" He said, "I just really wanted some tacos!"  everybody laughed.  How great is that.  He drove over 4 hours to come and support me in my work, and spend some extra time with me.  He had to leave early Sunday morning, did the drive home alone, and went straight to work all day! crazy! gotta love him!

Happy Fall

Happy Fall everyone.  it was a beautiful, warm Fall day today.  i got to spend 20 minutes outside, and i am grateful for that time! the rest of the day i was in a theater, dancing... also not so bad!

recently

these are some photos from a recent shoot that I did with my gal Abbey Rosener.  thanks Abbey!

today was a grueling day. i danced my butt off for two hours straight while most everyone else sat on the floor and tried not to fall asleep....

i am also having a dilemma about taking Pilobolus teaching work, or waiting to see if there might be more work for me to do with ms. barton.... but i do not want to assume anything..... ah free lance life!

Pina Bausch

this morning the hotel breakfast had real coffee mugs.  Such a treat for me to not drink out of something Styrofoam.  I was so happy and now I feel totally ready to dominate the day with full force.  I have a 2 hour ballet class, and about 12 hours of work.  Lots of dancing, which is great because I love to dance! haha, How lucky to do what you really love to do.

Last night we watched the movie about Pina Bausch.  it was so beautiful, and again i am feeling so inspired.  she was such an amazing artist, it makes me want to do big things.  great things.  take more risks.  create art that can really move people... gotta get to work on that.

HERSHEY'S BAR

There is something comforting about a Hershey's milk chocolate bar.  Maybe because I grew up with that specific taste.  It is not good chocolate, I have had much better kinds, but something about it makes me feel about 6 years old again. I feel safe and at ease. Strange the power it has.

A GREAT DAY

today was awesome! all I had to do that was work related was travel for about 45 minutes! yes! then I had the rest of the day to myself.  I went window shopping, saw a movie, did some laundry at the hotel, and then went cosmic bowling with most of the company.  it was a fun day.  i took some great photos and videos at the bowling alley... i will put those up later.
this photo was on the side of a building here in Ogden.  Ogden is a fun town.  it has spice and people seem nice.  back to a full day of work tomorrow.
thanks UT!!

it is late so i will keep it short.

we performed in Logan UT tonight.  i must say that with Pilobolus i was spoiled.  Sold out audiences that give standing O's is not common in modern dance.  i can clearly see that now, what i experienced with Pilobolus was like rock star status.  tonight was hard for me because the audience was very small, and some people left at intermission.  tough reality.  sometimes when art is not easy and accessible to everyone, people leave.  but what can you do?  just keep doing what you love, and try to share it.

keep on dancin!

EPIC DAY of LIFE

I want to put pictures up from this tour soon, but i left my chord at home... you know the one that allows my computer to talk with my camera.

so today, started at 7:00 with the good ol alarm clock.  got up and ate some free hotel breakfast, which was actually slammin! i had sausage and eggs and a bagel! what!? and then we went to Utah State University and did a LecDem at 9:30am! woah! slow down cowboy!!  we ran an entire 40 minute dance and it seemed like the 500 students that came really liked it. 

then we had a few hours of reh in a fancy studio that was called a Ballroom.  and after that I had a super lovely break.  I went to a coffee shop and knit an entire scarf for my friend Ben.  He bought all the materials and i made the scarf! it took about 2 hours total I would say.  (now i am going to make another one for my friend Emily!)

then back to the theater for lighting and spacing. 

Day done at 9:30pm...

work out.  live life, do it, done it, good, great!

Touring Again

I am in Logan, UT right now. 

Saturday night was really fun because we got to perform in LIC, and a ton of friends came out to the show.  We premiered a work called Les Chambres de Jacques, and personally i thought it went really well.  the audience seemed to really enjoy the show as well.  i had so much fun, i really love to perform. 

i am also having a really great time with all of the dancers i am working with.  everyone is so great, and so inspiring.  all of the people in my cast are absolutely fantastic dancers.  they make me want to be the best that i can possibly be.  it feels great to be inspired!

today was a long day of travel, flying from JFK to Salt Lake City...especially when you have only had 4 hours of sleep b/c of a show and cast party the night before.  A young girl on our plane had a seizure, but after we landed she was able to walk off by herself and she seemed to be ok.  So, that is good.  I was worried for her.  Once we got to the hotel today, i did not want to do anything.  So i took a bath, fell asleep watching tv, ate some food, and I am going to go to sleep soon.

AB&A

I have started dancing for Aszure Barton and Artists.  we have been working for 2 1/2 weeks getting ready for our upcoming tour.  it is a thrilling and exhausting time.  i am so pumped to be learning 3 full length works.  it is a ton of material to memorize, but it feels really great when i get it right (which is not often just yet!) This tour will be wonderful because i get to travel to many places where i have family and friends.  we are dancing in IL, Cleveland, GA, LIC, Buffalo, UT, WI, Boston, and a few other places as well.  13 shows, a lot of new friends, and a feeling of inspiration and growth.  what more can a a girl ask for?

QUIZ

what did i do yesterday that made me nauseous?

what time was my reh yesterday?

what is my favorite food?

POP QUIZ: what is your favorite animal and why?

Astoria Park

today is hot.  i went for a run in Astoria Park and i had eaten within the last hour... so then i immediately felt nauseous.  gross.  reminder to self: do not eat within two hours of running. 

also, tonight i am getting Thai food, my favorite.

and then reh from 8:30-1030.

this is all very important information.

there will be a quiz.

New York

a city of wackos.  bandages on faces, drugged out homeless people.  throwing garbage and yelling.  racoons jumping into garbage cans.  materialistic thoughts and advertisements everywhere. buy buy buy. dirty rivers.  cigarette butts. honking honk honk.  it is so loud, hard to think. crazy straight.  a smile.  a laugh with a stranger as clips of toe nails fly around the N train.  there is light and love here, although hard to see at times.  feeling safe is tricky.  threats from left and right, hand on purse.  everyone is suspect...while trying to smile.  fancy cafes and smelly people. 

My Godson

 Family is a funny thing.  Usually you don't get to pick them; and they don't get to pick you.  But this is my family and we picked each other.  i met Edwin while dancing at Pilobolus.  After many crazy adventures with him and his family we become close friends.  When they had their son, they asked me if i would be the fairy godmother... how can you say no to an offer like that! 

 i mean, look how beautiful this boy is!  He is sweet as pie.  The whole family just moved to WI and i am going to miss them.  we spent a lovely afternoon together saying goodbye...not forever, just until next time.

a good bye hug.... miss you already sweet one!

Precision

synchronized swimming in Lake Champlain

today it is very rainy and cold.  the kind of day that makes you want to stay in your bed all day, snuggled up with a good book and a hot chocolate. 

that is not my plan though.  i am going to go to Reebok Sports Club and work out like a gypsy that has eaten too much, and then head to Union Square to chat with some friends.  Reebok Sports Club is amazing! i had a coupon for a free week, and today is my last day sadly!  the facility is huge and they have everything! i have been swimming, running on their outdoor track which overlooks Manhattan, using the hot tub sauna and steam room, working with the Total Body Resistance Machine, lifting weights... it is really an amazing gym! and they do not play music like most gyms.  so you can go there and feel quiet and calm while getting buff! it is so fantastic!  i can see why they would give away a free week... it makes you want to buy a membership!

currently

this is a great picture.  i really feel like i am flying through the air, 3 feet off the ground...supported by a horse? well, ok, not really.  i was just trying to be smart and funny.  but life has been great recently. i have seen so many friends and family members, the fall is coming which is my favorite season, new friends entering my life while others move back to the midwest (miss you already Edwin), and everything seems to be flyin! 

there is a lot to say.  but i will break it up over a few entries.  keep my readers in suspense.  keep them wanting more...

i disappeared!

Sorry to my huge group of fans! I have been swamped with work and have not written in way too long.  This summer has flown by with performances at The Joyce, trips to LA to be on America's Got Talent, quick visits with family at the Ogden Dunes, and choreographing for Momenta in Oak Park, IL!  Here are some photos from the past few weeks!

LJR and I at a wedding

begging to continue on America's Got Talent

being thrown out by security after my yodeling act...

actual REH at AGT, we did do some work

playing with my cousins at the beach

thanks Diana! these were great!

family dinner

Chicago at Sunset

Momenta Reh

so grateful

there are so many things i am grateful for in my life.  i am grateful that my husband and i are both healthy and happy.  i am grateful for cold beer at the end of a long day.  i am grateful to my friends who indulge my creativity by playing with me in dance studios quite often.  i am grateful to Pilobolus for giving me my start and the confidence to keep going.  i am grateful for my new nephew who has so much to look forward to.  i am grateful to all my parents for their love and support over the years.  i am grateful for my plants that keep growing and making new plants! i am grateful for chicken nuggets, friends who loan me their car for the weekend, pretty dresses, lipstick, movies, laughing babies, crowded trains, Cafe Grumpy, Scott J Aveda on 72nd St, new haircuts, farmer's market honey, Alexander McQueen, The New Yorker, puppies, weddings, excuses to celebrate, gorgeous flowers, and THE LIBRARY!! what a treat to take home 23 cd's for FREE! thank you world!!

TO DO LIST:

accomplishments:
scrubbed the shower
did all the dishes
thoroughly cleaned the stove
grocery shopping
slept until 2pm!
saved my avocado plant after a nasty tumble
shaved my legs
exfoliated my feet
worked on a gift
watched The Tourist

things left undone:
did not work on my music at all (i am choreographing next month and need to create a soundscape)

whoops....

what did i learn today; work should come first.  i should have worked on my music and then done all of those other things.  try again tomorrow....

NYC Day

flyin' solo in NYC, a lot can happen.
here is my day in pictures because it is a bit too late to be trying to form sentences...

most amazing exhibit, high fashion meets performance art! answered many questions i was asking myself last night

all american girl

renewed my library card after, um, 9 years

Free dance show Bryant Park

what is the WHY

i have an 8 minute walk home from the train to my house.  i use this time to think.  tonight on my walk, i was thinking about what it means to be an artist.  and if i am an artist.  and WHY am i an artist, if i am one that is? why is this so important to me? what about art is special?

i think, great artists usually have a lot of creativity and a need to express thoughts.  i think i am extremely creative, but i am not sure that i need to use art to express myself.  maybe i do.  this is the question.  will i feel incomplete if i start working as a physical therapist instead of a dancer?  can you bring art into everything that you do?  why does our society need art? what are people getting from coming to see me dance? are they leaving feeling inspired and thinking about the world in a new way? are they motivated to work out? are they bored, frustrated, and mad they spent so much money? what are they thinking?  and why is it important for me to get up on a stage and move my body? what am i communicating? am i communicating anything at all? and i am sending my message, or the choreographer's message?  am i just a vessel for someone else to express their ideas?  do i want to be the creator of dances? what do i want? that is the real question that i can't seem to answer.

i enjoy dancing.  it makes me feel alive and powerful.  i like the attention of being a performer, i like demanding that people notice me.  i have thoughts...can i express them in movement? and does anyone care what those thoughts are? will the world go on totally unchanged if i never made any dances of my own?  what if i only ever dance for other people? is that enough?

what is enough, and how do you know when you have it?

6 WORDS FOR YOU

Susan Sarandon saw me dance tonight.


she came to the after party i was at, but left before i had a chance to talk to her...  that is all i have to say about that!!

strange

it is fun and strange to be writing a blog.  i wonder, is anyone reading this? is this even interesting? who is enjoying this? do people hate my writing? do people judge me based on what i am writing about... probably. oh well, people will judge me no matter what i do!  i am sure old women judge me as i walk down the street, audiences judge me as i take the stage, and my family probably judges me when i make a bad meal or do the dishes "wrong".  i think as a human it is hard not to be judgmental... maybe i will work on that too. 

the heat has finally calmed down a little.  i slept under the sheets last night, it was about 80.  it felt really nice to be under a blanket.

i danced the OKGO last night, the crowd went wild and loved us.  i think they love our unitards...it is totally rad!  i wish they were hyper-color unitards!!

today, i spent all day on the computer, not my ideal situation but it was actually necessary.  i started to work on the music for a new dance that i will be creating in Aug.  i am drawing inspiration from women in the 1950's and trying to compile interesting audio material that we can move to.  we will see what happens.  i hope i create something great with them!

KUBA

there was big news in my family, which i have not written about yet.  giving the new parents time to settle in a bit.  my brother and sister-in-law made me an auntie! His name is Jakub Logan Sheaff.  i have not met him yet, but judging from the pictures he seems sweet as punch! they call him Kuba for short.  i will meet him in a few more weeks, yay!

the day of rest

today was a glorious day in Astoria, minus the fact that i am really starting to miss my husband.  he is teaching percussion at the International Music Festival and Bowdoin College, which is in Maine.  i am so proud of him and happy for him...but we have not seen each other since July 3.  i am starting to feel lonely.

today i decided to check out the Astoria Park Pool.  this is a free pool, and it is HUGE! seemed twice the size of an olympic size pool.  there were many families there, lots of diversity!  Queens is so diverse! it is incredible.  there were lots of cute babies making silly faces and enjoying being cool for a moment.  there was plenty of space for everyone, the facilities were pretty clean, and did i mention it is FREE!  next time i just need to bring a few friends with me.

then i went for a quick walk around my neighborhood.  i am rarely at home, so this was quite nice actually.  i explored the park a bit more.  i saw the east river from the park and stopped by a Bake shop on the way home... picked up a lemonade and some cupcakes.  yum!

 

then it was time for family dinner.  and when your blood family does not live in the same state as you, you find a way to have another family.  my family is my friends, they are always there for me. and sometimes we like to eat together, like today.  we had salad, bruschetta, pasta with vodka sauce, home made juice (apple, kiwi, grape, and a hint of coconut) topped off with a fruit tart and cupcakes for dessert.  

cooking as a team

orchid

Mo and JP

salad with veggies from the farmer's market

fruit tart

the day ended with Mrs. Doubtfire which made me laugh a lot.  and now it is way too late to be up writing...

THIS HEAT

i got a great trick from my friend which got me through the night.  take a t-shirt, get it wet with cold water and ring it out.  then put it on and go to bed with a fan on you.  this is a great trick if you do not have A/C, like me. 

i am doing the A/C challenge this summer... trying to make it all season without it! it is a wet t-shirt contest at home! stylish?? not sure, but definitely cool!

yesterday it was 101 degrees in my house, today it is 97... hope to sleep well!

oh the places you'll go!

the other day i was trying to write down all the countries i have been to.  it is hard to remember! i was trying to think about this because for my 5 year wedding anniversary i want to take a big trip with my amazing husband. (that will be in Aug 2012)  I am not sure if I want to return somewhere I have already been but did not spend a lot of time in.... or go somewhere completely new!

here are the places i have been so far:
Holland (many times)
Norway
Sweden (2 times)
Spain
France (2 times)
Germany
Austria
England (2 times)
Czechoslavkia (when it was still called that)
Czech (later when the countries split)
Switzerland
Italy (3 times)
Belgium
Mexico (many times)
Costa Rica
Puerto Rico (2 times)
Hawaii (2 times)
Israel (2 times)
Vietnam
Cambodia
Laos
Thailand
New Zealand
Australia (2 times)
South Africa (2 times)
Zimbabwe
Botswana
Chile
Brazil (2 times)
Canada
Every US State Except: Montana, Idaho, Alaska, N and S Dakota


Places I would like to go/ ideas for 5 yr trip:
Alaska
Croatia, Greece: Mediterranean Cruise
Belize
Galapagos Islands
New Zealand, tour both islands
Maldives and India
Madagascar
Ireland/ Scotland
Banff National Park
Yellowstone National Park
Jamaica or Bermuda
Sechelles
Japan
Price Edward Island

Please leave me a comment about what your suggestions are! If you have taken an amazing trip I would love to hear about it!

perfect picnic

in order to create the perfect picnic you will need the following things:
1. friends
2. great food and wine
3. a reason to celebrate, like a birthday or you found a new freckle
4. cupcakes.... that will really get the party going
5. a blanket that can be spilled on
6. lots of time

the things people do

it is interesting to look around this city and see things, and to watch what people do.  i mean, you walk into a subway car and see chicken bones and rice all over the floor.  your mind begins to wander and you wonder what happened here? was there a fight? did someone just have an accident? did the chicken just taste really bad; so bad it had to be thrown to the floor? who knows.

or you see a woman on the bus eating a fruit salad.  she finishes her food and at the next stop stands up and throws her garbage out the bus door and comes to sit back down.  does she think that is ok? in her mind is the street a really big garbage can? who knows.

or you see people walking their dogs, picking up their dog's poop, and throwing that poop into the garbage can.  then you see a homeless man digging for food in that same garbage.  oh man

or you are sitting on the train and a random man asks you, "do you have allergies?"  you answer, "why?" (because really it is none of his business and you do not know him) "oh I just read that red heads have bad allergies" ... people are so weird.  is that a pick up line? who knows!

you know, strange men always talk to me.  the other day i was walking down the street and a man was pretending to take my picture over and over again with his hands as the "camera" and he was saying "click! click! click". I had to yell "alright enough already jeez!" he says, "what? too many photos?" or they come up from behind me and say "you are pretty" and run away.  are all the men in this city completely void of any social skills? seriously!  thank god I am happily married and do not have to be searching for a date among these crazy men.  what a city!

i forgot...

i had a great idea of what to write about today. and then i forgot it. so... in that case i am going to put a few more pics of shakey face.  it is funny and will make you smile.