TO DO LIST:

accomplishments:
scrubbed the shower
did all the dishes
thoroughly cleaned the stove
grocery shopping
slept until 2pm!
saved my avocado plant after a nasty tumble
shaved my legs
exfoliated my feet
worked on a gift
watched The Tourist

things left undone:
did not work on my music at all (i am choreographing next month and need to create a soundscape)

whoops....

what did i learn today; work should come first.  i should have worked on my music and then done all of those other things.  try again tomorrow....

NYC Day

flyin' solo in NYC, a lot can happen.
here is my day in pictures because it is a bit too late to be trying to form sentences...

most amazing exhibit, high fashion meets performance art! answered many questions i was asking myself last night

all american girl

renewed my library card after, um, 9 years

Free dance show Bryant Park

what is the WHY

i have an 8 minute walk home from the train to my house.  i use this time to think.  tonight on my walk, i was thinking about what it means to be an artist.  and if i am an artist.  and WHY am i an artist, if i am one that is? why is this so important to me? what about art is special?

i think, great artists usually have a lot of creativity and a need to express thoughts.  i think i am extremely creative, but i am not sure that i need to use art to express myself.  maybe i do.  this is the question.  will i feel incomplete if i start working as a physical therapist instead of a dancer?  can you bring art into everything that you do?  why does our society need art? what are people getting from coming to see me dance? are they leaving feeling inspired and thinking about the world in a new way? are they motivated to work out? are they bored, frustrated, and mad they spent so much money? what are they thinking?  and why is it important for me to get up on a stage and move my body? what am i communicating? am i communicating anything at all? and i am sending my message, or the choreographer's message?  am i just a vessel for someone else to express their ideas?  do i want to be the creator of dances? what do i want? that is the real question that i can't seem to answer.

i enjoy dancing.  it makes me feel alive and powerful.  i like the attention of being a performer, i like demanding that people notice me.  i have thoughts...can i express them in movement? and does anyone care what those thoughts are? will the world go on totally unchanged if i never made any dances of my own?  what if i only ever dance for other people? is that enough?

what is enough, and how do you know when you have it?

6 WORDS FOR YOU

Susan Sarandon saw me dance tonight.


she came to the after party i was at, but left before i had a chance to talk to her...  that is all i have to say about that!!

strange

it is fun and strange to be writing a blog.  i wonder, is anyone reading this? is this even interesting? who is enjoying this? do people hate my writing? do people judge me based on what i am writing about... probably. oh well, people will judge me no matter what i do!  i am sure old women judge me as i walk down the street, audiences judge me as i take the stage, and my family probably judges me when i make a bad meal or do the dishes "wrong".  i think as a human it is hard not to be judgmental... maybe i will work on that too. 

the heat has finally calmed down a little.  i slept under the sheets last night, it was about 80.  it felt really nice to be under a blanket.

i danced the OKGO last night, the crowd went wild and loved us.  i think they love our unitards...it is totally rad!  i wish they were hyper-color unitards!!

today, i spent all day on the computer, not my ideal situation but it was actually necessary.  i started to work on the music for a new dance that i will be creating in Aug.  i am drawing inspiration from women in the 1950's and trying to compile interesting audio material that we can move to.  we will see what happens.  i hope i create something great with them!

KUBA

there was big news in my family, which i have not written about yet.  giving the new parents time to settle in a bit.  my brother and sister-in-law made me an auntie! His name is Jakub Logan Sheaff.  i have not met him yet, but judging from the pictures he seems sweet as punch! they call him Kuba for short.  i will meet him in a few more weeks, yay!

the day of rest

today was a glorious day in Astoria, minus the fact that i am really starting to miss my husband.  he is teaching percussion at the International Music Festival and Bowdoin College, which is in Maine.  i am so proud of him and happy for him...but we have not seen each other since July 3.  i am starting to feel lonely.

today i decided to check out the Astoria Park Pool.  this is a free pool, and it is HUGE! seemed twice the size of an olympic size pool.  there were many families there, lots of diversity!  Queens is so diverse! it is incredible.  there were lots of cute babies making silly faces and enjoying being cool for a moment.  there was plenty of space for everyone, the facilities were pretty clean, and did i mention it is FREE!  next time i just need to bring a few friends with me.

then i went for a quick walk around my neighborhood.  i am rarely at home, so this was quite nice actually.  i explored the park a bit more.  i saw the east river from the park and stopped by a Bake shop on the way home... picked up a lemonade and some cupcakes.  yum!

 

then it was time for family dinner.  and when your blood family does not live in the same state as you, you find a way to have another family.  my family is my friends, they are always there for me. and sometimes we like to eat together, like today.  we had salad, bruschetta, pasta with vodka sauce, home made juice (apple, kiwi, grape, and a hint of coconut) topped off with a fruit tart and cupcakes for dessert.  

cooking as a team

orchid

Mo and JP

salad with veggies from the farmer's market

fruit tart

the day ended with Mrs. Doubtfire which made me laugh a lot.  and now it is way too late to be up writing...

THIS HEAT

i got a great trick from my friend which got me through the night.  take a t-shirt, get it wet with cold water and ring it out.  then put it on and go to bed with a fan on you.  this is a great trick if you do not have A/C, like me. 

i am doing the A/C challenge this summer... trying to make it all season without it! it is a wet t-shirt contest at home! stylish?? not sure, but definitely cool!

yesterday it was 101 degrees in my house, today it is 97... hope to sleep well!

oh the places you'll go!

the other day i was trying to write down all the countries i have been to.  it is hard to remember! i was trying to think about this because for my 5 year wedding anniversary i want to take a big trip with my amazing husband. (that will be in Aug 2012)  I am not sure if I want to return somewhere I have already been but did not spend a lot of time in.... or go somewhere completely new!

here are the places i have been so far:
Holland (many times)
Norway
Sweden (2 times)
Spain
France (2 times)
Germany
Austria
England (2 times)
Czechoslavkia (when it was still called that)
Czech (later when the countries split)
Switzerland
Italy (3 times)
Belgium
Mexico (many times)
Costa Rica
Puerto Rico (2 times)
Hawaii (2 times)
Israel (2 times)
Vietnam
Cambodia
Laos
Thailand
New Zealand
Australia (2 times)
South Africa (2 times)
Zimbabwe
Botswana
Chile
Brazil (2 times)
Canada
Every US State Except: Montana, Idaho, Alaska, N and S Dakota


Places I would like to go/ ideas for 5 yr trip:
Alaska
Croatia, Greece: Mediterranean Cruise
Belize
Galapagos Islands
New Zealand, tour both islands
Maldives and India
Madagascar
Ireland/ Scotland
Banff National Park
Yellowstone National Park
Jamaica or Bermuda
Sechelles
Japan
Price Edward Island

Please leave me a comment about what your suggestions are! If you have taken an amazing trip I would love to hear about it!

perfect picnic

in order to create the perfect picnic you will need the following things:
1. friends
2. great food and wine
3. a reason to celebrate, like a birthday or you found a new freckle
4. cupcakes.... that will really get the party going
5. a blanket that can be spilled on
6. lots of time

the things people do

it is interesting to look around this city and see things, and to watch what people do.  i mean, you walk into a subway car and see chicken bones and rice all over the floor.  your mind begins to wander and you wonder what happened here? was there a fight? did someone just have an accident? did the chicken just taste really bad; so bad it had to be thrown to the floor? who knows.

or you see a woman on the bus eating a fruit salad.  she finishes her food and at the next stop stands up and throws her garbage out the bus door and comes to sit back down.  does she think that is ok? in her mind is the street a really big garbage can? who knows.

or you see people walking their dogs, picking up their dog's poop, and throwing that poop into the garbage can.  then you see a homeless man digging for food in that same garbage.  oh man

or you are sitting on the train and a random man asks you, "do you have allergies?"  you answer, "why?" (because really it is none of his business and you do not know him) "oh I just read that red heads have bad allergies" ... people are so weird.  is that a pick up line? who knows!

you know, strange men always talk to me.  the other day i was walking down the street and a man was pretending to take my picture over and over again with his hands as the "camera" and he was saying "click! click! click". I had to yell "alright enough already jeez!" he says, "what? too many photos?" or they come up from behind me and say "you are pretty" and run away.  are all the men in this city completely void of any social skills? seriously!  thank god I am happily married and do not have to be searching for a date among these crazy men.  what a city!

i forgot...

i had a great idea of what to write about today. and then i forgot it. so... in that case i am going to put a few more pics of shakey face.  it is funny and will make you smile.

JW

Today is a very special day. 62 years ago, today, Jonathan Wolken was born. He died just over a year ago.  He was a remarkable man with many opinions. He founded Pilobolus among many accomplishments. He was a father, a cook, a race car driver, and an over all bad ass.  He inspired me in so many ways, he helped me find my own inner bad ass. He always wanted more from you; taught you how to push your own limit.  He was always asking questions. He had a willingness and an optimism that is unique.  He was all in, all the time.  That is such a life lesson to learn, go big or go home.  He was always asking if it was interesting enough to watch, always pushing himself to be better. It makes me sad to realize that he is gone. But I can keep part of him with me always.  I can share his lessons and try to inspire many people with his ideas. Today there was a great show in his honor and I know he would be proud.

JW, we miss you.  Happy Birthday.  I hope we are doing it big enough for you down here.

 

This is what i read at his memorial a year ago.

The Man with the Pitchfork

            There is this hill here in Washington that is incredibly steep and impossible to run up.  My first week of work Renee took me running up this hill and I thought I was going to die.  I made it about a quarter of the way up before stopping.

            I came to Pilobolus right after graduating from Juilliard.  Juilliard broke me in a lot of ways.  I did not have much confidence in myself or in my dancing at that time. When I first met JW (as the dancers affectionately call Jonathan) I was sure that he hated me.  He was critical of my dancing and of my personal decisions.  “Annika, you need to lose some weight.  Annika, you are too young to get married you don’t know what you’re getting into.  Annika, you need to stop “dancing”. Stop dancing? You created a dance company, hired me to dance for you, and you want me to stop dancing?  I was so confused, so upset, and as you can imagine not the biggest fan of JW.  I could not get anything right, and I was sure he was going to fire me. 

            Megawatt rehearsals were Jonathan’s favorite.  He could barely sit still while we practiced.  He told me that he would perform this piece in a heartbeat if his body still allowed him.  I, on the other hand, loathed Megawatt. In the beginning I couldn’t keep up, and JW would keep pushing me and pushing me until I was crying alone in the bathroom… a regular occurrence for me by week 3.  He would scream at us, “Move your ass! Go! Go! GO!”  After the run of Mega, he would gather us up to go through notes.  He would always start off with, “I am the man with the pitchfork lighting the fire under you ass.” 

            I slowly got stronger and better and began to keep up with the other kids.  At that point, JW began pushing me to the next level.  Now he had me balanced on Andy’s shoulders as he ran around the room, flipping over people’s backs, and dive rolling like crazy!   JW forced me to do many things I never thought possible.  He showed me my physical potential and he helped me break down mental blocks.  By doing that, he restored my confidence as a performer.  He made me realize that everything is possible if you work hard and try your best. 

            Whenever we created dances with him he always told us to do something interesting.  If it is not interesting to us, it will not be interesting to an audience.  The worst thing we can create is a dance that makes the audience feel neither here or there about it.  He would rather they hated it than not care at all…take Razor:Mirror as an example!  He taught me the importance of creating dances that matter.  That is why he didn’t want me to “dance”.  He wanted his dancers to be unique, to be individuals… not just be able to repeat steps.  And JW always taught us to be generous with our ideas and our movement.  You must give all your ideas, some will be horrible but at least one will be good. 

            I will always have a special place in my heart for JW.  Because of him, I will never hold back.  I will push myself until the impossible becomes possible.  I will believe in myself and the importance of creating dances.  And I will be generous in all ways. 

            Now whenever I go running up that hill in the Depot, I hear his voice yelling, “Move your ass Sheaff! GO! GO!”  and I make it to the top…smiling just a little to myself.   

YATA!

i did it! i did the shows and I did not mess up in a really bad way! woot woot! I am so proud of myself, and I had so much fun! I got to perform with OKGO, we had a blast! what nice guys! and the Butoh piece went well, it was super sweaty though! holy man, i was sliding all over the place! and Inbal Pinto was there and it was so lovely to see her, and i saw Dance Zanes, and a whole bunch of people I had not seen in a long time!  what a great night!
and now, off to bed with my tired self!

Twice on the Train

it is not rare to see a homeless man on the train.  but to see the same man twice in one day on different train lines... a little rare.

this man had a lot to say. 

"my bloodline is 2,000 years old, i am from Pompeii.  you can tell from my strong features and skin tone.  your tobacco is stringy man.  do i have spit on me? people spit on me.  they took my dad's money.  my dad worked his whole life for that money and they took it, it is at the hotel. i would swear to it with a pistol in my hand.  i don't have telepathy.  i tried to stay at a YMCA, i am an adult so i know how much things cost.  i am over 50."

got to love NYC. 

INSPIRED

today i went to Jacob's Pillow for the first time in my life! for those of you who do not know, Jacob's Pillow is a dance venue that is outside in the country of Massachusetts. it is serene and beautiful. i was going to see my dear friend Cindy Salgado perform with Kidd Pivot.  They did a show called Dark Matters which totally blew my mind.  the dancers were unbelievable, the way they combine technique with pure raw talent and a passion for moving really inspired me to be better than i am.  they moved like liquid being pored into a glass, like ice freezing slowly.  they used a small puppet and were able to show so much emotion through tiny movements.  it made me realize that you can never stop learning and growing, there is always a higher level to reach.  i want to reach another level with my own understanding of movement. 

which is kind of amazing timing for me considering i have a chance to dance next week in front of an audience.  i get to take extremely new movement and try to make something remarkable out of it.  i have a chance to be my very best.  i am going to work as hard as i can to make these shows the best they can possibly be, and maybe i can inspire someone like Kidd Pivot inspired me.  who knows....

this is  a picture of the outside stage at Jacob's pillow, this is not the show i saw, but it was too pretty not to capture

PILOBO-BUTOH-IFIED

i have not felt this kind of body ache in about a year.  training with pilobolus dance theater is unlike anything else... your body is gonna feel it.  muscles that you did not know you have come to your attention.  you wake up starving.  it is kinda awesome!

i learned a 28 minute dance in 4 hours...it is a Butoh piece i am enjoying exploring this movement vocabulary.  it is interesting, you have to think about the movement in a different way, like you are a human with a brain the size of a pea... or you have to try and do cat's cradle with your wrists not your fingers.  it is coming at movement from an angle that i usually don't approach it, so i am learning something new and that is always great!

hopefully we will get some good news today about the injured dancer and i will not have to perform on mon.  but if i do, come check out the show: The Joyce Theater, Pilobolus, July 11-Aug 6.

tomorrow i am off to MA! i am going to see my dear friend Cindy perform in her current show called Dark Matters by Crystal Pite.  i heard this show was unreal and i look forward to seeing it!

5:30 am

today i woke up with a start at 5:30 am.  my alarm had not gone off, but i had a rush of adrenaline and could not get back to sleep.  so, i started watching videos of the dance i had to learn to pass the time.

i worked on this new piece for 3 hours today, it was a ton of information... my brain hurts.  and we did not even finish it.  so, back at it tomorrow. 

i did an audition this morning too... it was fascinating.  it was for a show called Sleep No More.  it is in a old hotel, the show is 3 hours, the audience walks around freely where they want to go.  the audience wears masks.  seems like such a fun gig... so we will see.

hopefully tomorrow i will sleep past 5:30 am.

pickle juice and beer

there is no better way to prepare for a full day than pickle juice and beer!

today i got "the call".  the call every Pilobolus dancer fears getting. "Hi, we have an injured dancer, are you available right now?" that's the call.  so i rearranged my life and made it possible to be up in CT for the next few days to learn two new pieces in 2 1/2 days.  and then possibly perform them on Mon... wish me luck. holy moly, here we go.

so back to the important part.  immediately when i got home i had a beer to reduce my stress level which of course was much higher than this morning.  and then i ate what i saw in the fridge, a pickle.  and then i drank some pickle juice... this was when i decided that i should make something real.  so along came the tuna mac.  which is almost real.

i hope some of this helps me through tomorrow....
here we go!

Shakey Face

happy 4th of july! astoria is hoppin tonight! there are block parties and fireworks! it is loud and if you had no idea what 4th of july was, you might be terrified that the world was ending.  it is seriously nutso here! 

i went to cleveland for the weekend and flew home today.  the plane landed 20 minutes early, but we were stuck on the tarmac for one hour and thirty minutes because they had no gate to pull into.  that was terrible.... hard to be so close to home and not able to get off the plane.

the weekend was awesome though. two friends got married, congrats laura and joey! so happy for you both.  there was ice cream. there were salads.  there was reading alone time.  and catching up time.  i spent quality time with my mother and father in law, or as i call them m2d2.  it is cool, like r2d2... you know.  yea, you know it. 

there is a game that is really fun if you are a little bored.  shakey face.  you relax all the muscles in your face and shake your head back and forth.  then you let the camera do the work.  here are some righteous examples!

remarkable

here, mauricio is doing the opposite of shakey face, it is called "really tight face"