i have an 8 minute walk home from the train to my house. i use this time to think. tonight on my walk, i was thinking about what it means to be an artist. and if i am an artist. and WHY am i an artist, if i am one that is? why is this so important to me? what about art is special?
i think, great artists usually have a lot of creativity and a need to express thoughts. i think i am extremely creative, but i am not sure that i need to use art to express myself. maybe i do. this is the question. will i feel incomplete if i start working as a physical therapist instead of a dancer? can you bring art into everything that you do? why does our society need art? what are people getting from coming to see me dance? are they leaving feeling inspired and thinking about the world in a new way? are they motivated to work out? are they bored, frustrated, and mad they spent so much money? what are they thinking? and why is it important for me to get up on a stage and move my body? what am i communicating? am i communicating anything at all? and i am sending my message, or the choreographer's message? am i just a vessel for someone else to express their ideas? do i want to be the creator of dances? what do i want? that is the real question that i can't seem to answer.
i enjoy dancing. it makes me feel alive and powerful. i like the attention of being a performer, i like demanding that people notice me. i have thoughts...can i express them in movement? and does anyone care what those thoughts are? will the world go on totally unchanged if i never made any dances of my own? what if i only ever dance for other people? is that enough?
what is enough, and how do you know when you have it?
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