JW

Today is a very special day. 62 years ago, today, Jonathan Wolken was born. He died just over a year ago.  He was a remarkable man with many opinions. He founded Pilobolus among many accomplishments. He was a father, a cook, a race car driver, and an over all bad ass.  He inspired me in so many ways, he helped me find my own inner bad ass. He always wanted more from you; taught you how to push your own limit.  He was always asking questions. He had a willingness and an optimism that is unique.  He was all in, all the time.  That is such a life lesson to learn, go big or go home.  He was always asking if it was interesting enough to watch, always pushing himself to be better. It makes me sad to realize that he is gone. But I can keep part of him with me always.  I can share his lessons and try to inspire many people with his ideas. Today there was a great show in his honor and I know he would be proud.

JW, we miss you.  Happy Birthday.  I hope we are doing it big enough for you down here.

 

This is what i read at his memorial a year ago.

The Man with the Pitchfork

            There is this hill here in Washington that is incredibly steep and impossible to run up.  My first week of work Renee took me running up this hill and I thought I was going to die.  I made it about a quarter of the way up before stopping.

            I came to Pilobolus right after graduating from Juilliard.  Juilliard broke me in a lot of ways.  I did not have much confidence in myself or in my dancing at that time. When I first met JW (as the dancers affectionately call Jonathan) I was sure that he hated me.  He was critical of my dancing and of my personal decisions.  “Annika, you need to lose some weight.  Annika, you are too young to get married you don’t know what you’re getting into.  Annika, you need to stop “dancing”. Stop dancing? You created a dance company, hired me to dance for you, and you want me to stop dancing?  I was so confused, so upset, and as you can imagine not the biggest fan of JW.  I could not get anything right, and I was sure he was going to fire me. 

            Megawatt rehearsals were Jonathan’s favorite.  He could barely sit still while we practiced.  He told me that he would perform this piece in a heartbeat if his body still allowed him.  I, on the other hand, loathed Megawatt. In the beginning I couldn’t keep up, and JW would keep pushing me and pushing me until I was crying alone in the bathroom… a regular occurrence for me by week 3.  He would scream at us, “Move your ass! Go! Go! GO!”  After the run of Mega, he would gather us up to go through notes.  He would always start off with, “I am the man with the pitchfork lighting the fire under you ass.” 

            I slowly got stronger and better and began to keep up with the other kids.  At that point, JW began pushing me to the next level.  Now he had me balanced on Andy’s shoulders as he ran around the room, flipping over people’s backs, and dive rolling like crazy!   JW forced me to do many things I never thought possible.  He showed me my physical potential and he helped me break down mental blocks.  By doing that, he restored my confidence as a performer.  He made me realize that everything is possible if you work hard and try your best. 

            Whenever we created dances with him he always told us to do something interesting.  If it is not interesting to us, it will not be interesting to an audience.  The worst thing we can create is a dance that makes the audience feel neither here or there about it.  He would rather they hated it than not care at all…take Razor:Mirror as an example!  He taught me the importance of creating dances that matter.  That is why he didn’t want me to “dance”.  He wanted his dancers to be unique, to be individuals… not just be able to repeat steps.  And JW always taught us to be generous with our ideas and our movement.  You must give all your ideas, some will be horrible but at least one will be good. 

            I will always have a special place in my heart for JW.  Because of him, I will never hold back.  I will push myself until the impossible becomes possible.  I will believe in myself and the importance of creating dances.  And I will be generous in all ways. 

            Now whenever I go running up that hill in the Depot, I hear his voice yelling, “Move your ass Sheaff! GO! GO!”  and I make it to the top…smiling just a little to myself.